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The Search

Is it just me... or do you feel like when you start getting into a new hobby, that hobby is the only thing you can think about?

Even as I sit at work, trying to put a TV show together, I can't help but wish I could be outside (or inside, or wherever) with my camera, practicing (because lord knows I need the practice). my camera, which I'd mentioned in my first post, is loaded to me by Nick, my boyfriend, given to him by his father. I don't bring it home. It stays at Nick's apartment, on his desk. I can see it now. I really don't pick it up until the weekend, and when I do... I can't let it go. Maybe the fact that I don't see it every day causes me to miss it more. (I still call it, "it," haven't quite given camera a name yet.)

Is that weird?

Photography has reinvigorated a part of my life that I haven't explored in a while, one that I didn't realize was pushed so far back in my mind. Actually making something from scratch, taking images and commonplace objects that everyone sees/overlooks and seeing it through a different lens... It's eye opening; it's exciting.

During the week, when I'm not near my camera, I've been occupying my time by watching camera tutorial videos on YouTube, browsing blogs, trying to stay inspired.

The other day, I was reading the "Fashion & Style" section on NYTimes.com and watched those "In The Studio" videos on loop, one after the other. Vanessa Friedman does a fantastic job of capturing the designer/artist in his/her element. From Alber Elbaz, Creative Director at Lanvin, with his all-black office, to fashion designer Jason Wu and his uni-ball pen from Staples, and designer Diane Von Furstenberg at her long wooden table. Though their methods vary, there's one common thread. They all have such a great sense of being and a sense of self. It's such an amazing moment to watch an artist work, and to hear them speak about their passions is absolutely captivating. There's an instant spark, a glow, an aura that manifests. In that moment, they are so sure of themselves, so untouchable. That must be so liberating.

I wish to know what that feels like.





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